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Home
Highest Ranked Comments
+661
When I was an intern once, had an MD go to Chicago to close on a deal that was heating up. Guy was very much so "new money" and didn't act like the conservative traditional banker.
GridironCEO
+521
hopeful123 Recruiting isn't going as planned huh
Prospect
in
IB-M&A
+475
If you are a female, I would like to congratulate you on securing a return offer.
Intern
in
IB-M&A
+418
How are you straight if you hooked up with a dude?
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+412
Dragon deez nuts over your face
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+391
You're probably fucked to be completely honest. You should have started the process much earlier.
cloutape
+333
i guess if you can't hack it in banking you can't hack it in the world of made-to-order sandwiches crafted by experts with the freshest of ingredients. Eat fresh, scrub
sloppysteve123
+309
Depends if my wife checks the credit card bills
Engineer
in
Other
+308
This is how careers are made.
kodi
+305
I don't know you personally, but I can confidently say you've never had a worse idea.
Five Star Man
+267
You should absolutely leave and pm me the posting to replace your role.
Teller
in
Non-profit
+258
A long time ago back in the aftermath of the GFC (disregard the title in my profile, I'm old) I had someone ask me a variation of this question. It was "If [our bank] were an animal, which animal would we be?"
Analyst 3+
in
IB - Gen
+257
Marry her dad
chimpnotsimp
+254
bruhchain
+253
Ernest Hemingway - 'There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.'
Pussy galore
+252
I am just an undergrad but this is very much my plan at the moment, a couple of years IB then switch into REPE (which looks like a really cool gig) then go home and have sex with you
Steve Wibble
+251
Shut the fuck up pussy don't hijack the thread
Intern
in
IB-M&A
+247
GS_Diversity_Analyst
+236
What's her IG @
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+236
Honestly getting tired of this view that I'm seeing. Even today, in no other profession can you find the upward mobility and high starting salary that IB provides.
Associate 1
in
IB - Cov
+235
Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.
Max Heiliger
+229
Ok
stinkypants
+226
I'm going to be brutally honest with you -- that ship has already sailed. Most of the people who end up getting offers have been networking since ~7th grade.
Analyst 1
in
PE - LBOs
+226
Sleep with his wife?
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+225
I'm giving way more time to this post than I should:
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+220
Dumbest thing I said was in response to the dumbest question I ever received.
newyorkermonkey
+220
relax with the "we", intern
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+219
This guy said LGTBQIA+ LOL. Go kick rocks
Analyst 1
in
IB - Cov
+217
This has got to be one of the best topic headers to ever exist on this site
Arroz con Pollo
+217
PE Firm: "We invest in B+ companies. They have a lot of potential, but have some flaw that helps us buy at a discount (recent managment changes, disruption, etc.).
Analyst 1
in
IB - Cov
+215
Yeah, I'll come over the top again with another one. Why the hell are so many of you incels on this website now?
Associate 1
in
PE - Growth
+213
Gotta be honest, I get pretty sick of this comment. We get it, you're sooo smart even IB isn't challenging enough for you. Maybe you can start by challenging yourself to do more than go through the motions.
Associate 1
in
IB - Cov
+213
thebrofessor, I appreciate getting looped in this!
wsa007
+210
Get wasted tonight, watch a movie and sleep a lot. Tomorrow will be the time to snort an Adderall pill and get planning.
Prospect
in
IB - Gen
+209
CL* not CV, pls fix - I expected more attention to detail from someone who dings kids for CL file names
Associate 2
in
CorpDev
+209
Don't worry, you were already a tool from the start
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+204
I'm a girl but thank you
smol_depressedanalyst
+202
By way of background, Macron graduated from the top French school of public administration, the Ecole Nationale d'Administration (ENA). Nearly all French presidents and ministers come out of ENA.
Kazhar
+201
Genuinely enjoyed reading this. Brutal situation I know, but a great inside look as to how the sausage is made. Appreciate the write-up.
Business School
in
IB - Gen
+201
There's a reason you're not at Blackstone, and it's not because of your Tier 23 undergrad institution; your MD was testing you and, unsurprisingly, you failed miserably.
Non-PC Broker
+200
Ok it's time we admit that those 13 goldman analysts are fucking legends
rezjopls
+200
You know this industry is fucked when someone telling their wife they can't make the family vacation is super badass
Intern
in
IB - Gen
+195
Friday night: drinks at a roof top bar. Usually $20-25 a drink, but thats what this industry is all about right, blowing excessive cash. Hit an upscale bar, then head to a club.
Deal Team Six
+194
For many, its the moment they become a republican(after they see the post tax amount)
Analyst 2
in
IB - Gen
+192
YEs, it is very competitive, especially if you are at a non-target. Some questions...and points. You mentioned 3,000 emails, but honestly that's not too many over 3 years (if that includes simple Linkedin connection requ
WallStreetOasis.com
+192
Analyst 2
in
IB - Gen
+189
Hey bro, they posted a rainbow flag and a black square. Citi CARES, ok?
Associate 3
in
PE - LBOs
+189
Did you need to use your little consulting frameworks to figure that one out?
Associate 1
in
PE - LBOs
+188
*senior associate
idaho
+184
Intern in IB-M&A: Minimum 800k Certified Investment Manager who Makes $500k+ -
Analyst 3+
in
HF - EquityHedge
+184
The Chad 1st year analyst vs the virgin 2nd year associate
Analyst 1
in
IB-M&A
+183
/
Anonymous Monkey
+182
I had my 10 year marriage anniversary this year, so here goes. Life in general is hard and people of all ages and marital status have struggles as time passes.
Synergy_or_Syzygy
+182
You don't give up.
I3DCashStaffer
+180
Nobody:
Analyst 1
in
IB - Cov
+180
Also, I did say "no homo" so I'm good
Mr.JoeBaskin
+178
I suggest verbalizing observations about the appearances of females in the office.
imposter_syndrome
+176
**Interviewer walked into the room, picked up my resume, read it for 3 minutes in front of me without saying a word**
CharlesCheese
+175
Look at the forecast model and see how it is built up. Do you have any breakout on a segment level? Can revenue cleanly be broken down so that you can isolate price vs.
Associate 2
in
PE - LBOs
+174
it's called cocaine you moron
guggroth93
+174
lmfao you sound like the type of person that I had to pretend to like when I was interviewing "I just signed my MFPE offer so I'm feeling thankful" Lord help us
Analyst 1
in
IB - Cov
+173
Nope, both interns were male. What made it even better was that one of the the female analysts was in a relationship with an analyst from another firm.
el bee oh
+172
Do not take your life over this man. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I have had people close to me take their own lives.
oceandrive
+170
The answer to this is absolutely relative.
numbermassager
+168
Yeah I hate liberals significantly more than I did before
sloppysteve123
+167
Feel like this has been answered a million times but since we're all stuck in quarantine I'll lay it out for you simply.
Quaneaser
+166
If the bank wanted you to have a girlfriend, they would've issued you one
MaddCow
+165
literally everything makes women uncomfortable. fat people make women uncomfortable. frankly, women make themselves uncomfortable. yes, women have way too much power.
xgozax
+165
Nice try, IRS.
HuskySized
+163
-
Associate 2
in
PE - LBOs
+163
Wtf did I just read lol
Analyst 1
in
PE - LBOs
+163
How dare kids not try to network with the all mighty baddealflow12, this industry is not what it used to be.
the_inquisitor
+162
Yes, OP is a motherfucker.
VP
in
IB - Gen
+162
Intern
in
IB - Gen
+160
sounds like you prefer to spend your rare free time with men you sure this sexual frustration isnt from not going all in on your "real" desires, aka smashing other dudes?
Associate 1
in
IB - Cov
+157
Look at yourself in the mirror with all your free time and ask yourself where you went wrong in deciding this was worth posting
Associate 2
in
PE - LBOs
+155
Are you fucking kidding me? Get the coffee and shut the hell up.
SECfinance
+155
Ok - you can continue to have regrets and feel bad about your situation or you can take ownership of this. I've been where you are before.
Arroz con Pollo
+155
In '87, Huey released this, Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics.
TacosDeLengua
+155
Same thing happened to me bruh. I'm blacklisted from Lizard and Nevercore.
Associate 2
in
IB-M&A
+154
Think I will get a return offer but don't know if I will accept. Went into finance for the hookers and cocaine and all I got is they/them's.
pronouns_are_for_incels
+153
Always remember who you work for. You definitely don't work for your VP. You don't work for your Partners. You don't work for your company. They might review your work, they might pay you.
Analyst 2
in
IB-M&A
+153
True.
Anonymous Monkey
+153
Here's the TRUTH:
Analyst 1
in
IB - Gen
+153
Here's what I usually say: "Hi, [insert woman name]. My name is FTPinsider and I am an INVESTMENT BANKING ANALYST at FTP ($140k as an1 btw)." Usually they say:
FTPinsider
+153
Great post and nice to see someone with some experience weigh in on reality. As someone quite a bit older, I've seen the randomness you describe many times over.
rickle
+152
EV / Nuts Busted
Associate 1
in
IB-M&A
+151
Not me but a friend of mine;
Jaxom
+151
A few things here and advice for younger posters. This is a great post because this feeling is real, very common, and sucks!
Associate 2
in
PE - Growth
+149
because I, like everyone else in this industry, have no clue who i am and what i want, and i'm too addicted to the lifestyle to get off without a plan
Associate 3
in
PE - LBOs
+148
No, what if she dumps you dumbass?
CEO
in
PE - Other
+148
Sinking ship better than open water.
Polar123
+147
I know countless students that could blow all you target kids out of the water with all that they have done to break in.
Analyst 1
in
IB - Cov
+147
This is a great question that never really gets paved out here in WSO. I just turned 25 and making a little over 7 figures a year. This is completely possible if you have the right mentors and ideas.
rossjohnson_1
+146
I mean are you proud you did this?
lost_canadian
+146
Depends if the MD converted her that night
Austerity
+145
Did she take her boyfriend's name?
MikeyK
+144
Ignore my anonymous title. I did 2 years of BB banking, 2 years of UMM PE, and am coming up on 3 years in corporate strategy where I work fully remotely.
Director
in
IB - Gen
+144
Joe Biden - Northwestern Mutual
monkey0114
+144
Had a phone informational, which went smoothly for the most part.
wynd93282
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